Sloth...and more

Have you ever just felt like a muddle-headed sloth, sort of slogging one foot in front of the other the best you can? Eyes twitching constantly and not a lot of feeling in your legs or toes? Well, that's about how I feel today...and that's the honest truth! Not that I am in the practice of telling anything but the whole truth...just thought I'd share. It was surprising every time I stood up today - oh yeah, my limbs are not working properly. Glad this is the LAST and FINAL chemo and once I get back up to speed (there is NO speed happening today!) I won't get drenched back down again.

And then there is Vitamin D. I asked again this last time at the oncologist if they ever ran that blood test I had requested at the advice of the dietitian. She found the results from back in May. In a normal range of 25-80, my level was 27. So, on the very low end. Granted, this was before I started my daily-if-possible routine of absorbing some sunlight, so I don't know my levels now. I've recently read many articles that have found the cause of mysterious and strange symptoms to be a Vitamin D deficiency (there was an article in today's Pioneer Press, by the way). We are at a disadvantage here in this northern state of MN - at least if you are a "winter wimpy" like I am - 15 minutes of head/hand/leg exposure between October and March is pretty much not going to happen! Supplements?

I really feel these health priorities couldn't be more important - don't let anything stand between you and good health choices - exercise, healthy food choices, purified water, vitamin levels, meditation, BREATHE. Reduce stress and make life changes when necessary to maintain balance. It's not easy - I "chose" some warm molten chocolate cake, vanilla ice cream, & hot fudge tonight at Applebee's for Mike's 40th (he just loves when they sing & clap!! NOT!). An okay choice just for today - guilt isn't good either. And please don't let anyone try to instill guilt in you for making these positive choices for your life, maybe just because they might not be in their list of priorities. I let many of these just get away from me before this life-changing event known as cancer came into my life. With all I've learned, there is really no going back.

Yesterday I finished reading "The Shack" by William P. Young, as was recommended by our pastor. There were many good "learnings" in this novel. One is that we are not truly "free" when we keep trying to do things in our own human strength - without God/Jesus/Holy Spirit nothing can really be accomplished. With Him, ALL things are possible! Even life circumstances can be very different when we realize we don't have to try to understand how or why everything has happened - we just need to trust - in ALL things. This is huge for me. I was constantly saying, "Yes, but what about...?" Rather than just resting in Him and trusting fully. I'm sure this will be an on-going lesson, but I'm glad it's a path I've started walking along, and I'm very happy I'm not walking it alone. If we say "God is good, all the time!" then we must believe this.

Another quote I read is, "If anything is important, than everything is important."

Oh, and the mortality rate for humans is 100%, just in case you forgot. Everyone will eventually die and there is nothing we can do about that - just live the very best we can while we are alive! And we are alive every day that we have breath. Bernie Siegel's books share an abundance of good information and reminders.

Got a great email today, too: "When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close. Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing...(thanks, Kim!)

I hope I have been a blessing to someone today - I know many of you have been a blessing to me! I apologize if this post was like a winding mountain road today, but sometimes I just have to go along for the ride, even when I feel like I might go careening off the edge! I appreciate each and every one of you and your positive thoughts, emails, cards, prayers. Remember that you are wrapped in love at all times and that God is especially fond of YOU! (Another great quote from The Shack.)